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Every New Year, many of us resolve to achieve certain
goals during the next twelve months. For many, a major focus may
be to lose weight, find a better job, and/or make more money. If
any of a number of resolutions could be achieved, one would be happy.
Unfortunately, in our materialistic society, it seems that happiness
is often equated with being able to buy things such as a slimmer
body, a bigger house, or more blue-chip stocks.
One's pursuit of material things is not all bad, however
~ it's just that many times, it narrows our perspective and priorities
in life. The goal is to get as much wealth as possible and then
one would be 'happy and rich.' When one's sights are set on becoming
economically rich, tunnel vision sets in and nothing will deter
one's course.
Nothing, except experiencing a special loved one's
illness and/or death. For those who have the courage to grieve,
an illness or death can really open one's eyes to how shallow materialistic
richness really is. One's main priority of 'making it' in this world
can be shattered in an instant. It's really ironic that it often
takes the pain of a tragedy for one to open up and appreciate life's
true richness. Sure, we'd all like to be set financially, but
is that what being 'rich' is really all about?
Finding one's richness is a personal journey,
but one that can ultimately enhance one's life and relationships.
It can also help one work through the grief process and beyond ~
giving meaning to your life.
In my conversations with bereaved parents, the following
statements reflect some of their feelings and thoughts of what being
'rich' really entails.
Being 'Rich' Means ~
- Feeling the warmth and tenderness of my newborn
baby snuggled tightly in my arms
- Sharing in my child's joy when he took his first
steps
- Walking hand-in-hand with my daughter on the first
day of school and hearing her say, "I love you"
- Being able to share my 8-year-old's tears when
the family pet died
- Having my teenage son come to me and ask for help
- Having friends that will listen, support me, and
really care about me
- Watching my daughter marry the man she loves
- Being a part of my grandchildren's lives
- Cherishing memories
- Being able to once again see the beauty in a sunny
or rainy day
- Having the privilege to be a part of my child's
life
- Putting life's ups and downs in perspective
- Living
- Finding peace within myself that one day I can
survive tragic losses and live with joy again and move beyond
survival
And the list is endless.
Take a moment and reflect on what being 'rich'
means to you. Why wait for a tragedy to trigger your reprioritizing.
Do it today. Cherish the moment and those who have touched your
life.
Deb Lee Gould, MEd
Director, FOD Family Support Group
February 1992
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